American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

Character:

Patrick Bateman

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

18-30

Style:

Drama

Length:

2 minutes

(panicky, frantic. talking into a phone) Howard! It's Bateman, Pat Bateman. You're my lawyer, so I think you should know I killed a lot of people! Some escort girls in an apartment uptown...some homeless people, maybe 5 or 10! Ummm...Some girl I met at an NYU party. I left her body in the parking lot behind some old donut shop! My old girlfriend Beverly with a nail gun. Some man, some old FAGGOT with a dog!

(nearing tears) I killed another girl with a chainsaw. I had to, she almost got away. There was someone else there; I can't remember...maybe a model or something. But, she's dead too. And, uh, Paul Allen! I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face! His body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hells Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out, now. I guess I killed maybe...twenty people. Maybe forty!

I've got tapes of a lot of it. Some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even...I even ate some of their brains. And I tried to cook a little. Tonight... (hysterical) I just HAD TO KILL ALOT OF PEOPLE! And I don't think I'm gonna get away with it this time. So...I guess...I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. (laughter) Well...if you get back tomorrow...I'll meet you up at Harry's Bar so...keep your eyes open. Bye.

 Mean by Michael Emanuel Manos III

Character:

John

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

26-30

Style:

Drama

Length:

1 minute

Background Info: JOHN is 26 years old, has been married for nearly 6 years, and is on the verge of a devastating divorce with his beloved wife Rebecca. He is greatly depressed.

JOHN is sitting in a chair DSR in a bleak, stark white room with long shadows. Holding his wedding ring in his hand and staring at it intently, trying desperately to fight back tears.

{To REBECCA} Why? I... I don’t understand. We have been together for almost 6 years now. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Every day I was loyal to you; faithful to you. Everyday I would come home and kiss you, pledge my love to you. Every night I would respect your decisions and your privacy. I would be sensitive to your feelings. Never once did I harm you or hurt you in any way. I worked hard to keep this family together; I worked hard for food and warmth and security. And no matter what you would do or say I would always be there; by your side. So how did it come to this? The truth is, Rebecca ... the plain and simple truth is that I love you, no matter what. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see that we both share, the same goals, the same desires, the same passions; the same love. We can’t let it end like this. Not like this. Not like this. {JOHN puts is face in is hands and silently weeps. Lights fade to a blackout.)

 One Long Day by Nathaniel Spears

Character:

Roy

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

18-20

Style:

Drama

Length:

2 minutes

Background Info: Roy has been having a string of bad luck all day. he is sitting in the living room of his apartment, staring at a painting of a sad clown on the wall. He finally cracks.

WHAT... ARE... YOU... LOOKING AT. Jesus Christ. With your fucking red nose and your frizzy red hair. Fucking clown. Ya know what. Yeah ya know what. I know why your sad all the time, I understand now. You think you got it bad, huh? You think you got it bad? Try living my life, buddy. You wanna know what happened to me today, huh? You wanna know, here I'll tell ya. First, my girlfriend broke up with me. Wanna know why? (mockingly) Because I don't pay enough. attention to her fucking needs.(beat)

Five years. Just five years and... and. (takes deep breath). I wrecked my car. Yeah, some asshole decided it would be a good idea to cut me off.(beat) ON THE FUCKING FREEWAY! For christ's sake, I ran into a gaurdrail and just like that... no more car. And on top of all that I got fired from my job for, get this, I got fired (mockingly) for not showing enough potential in my work. Isn't that just the cherry on top of this fucked up ice cream called life. (beat)

(plops back into chair). I know why you're sad. It's because you feel like a lonely, scared little kid and this world is too big for you. Makes you feel like shit, don't it.

Rumors by Neil Simon

Character:

Lenny

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

30s-40s

Style:

Comedy

Length:

2 minutes

Background Info: Lenny is pretending to be someone else, who is not able to talk to the police, who are there for some "questions." Lenny over-dramatizes it to convince the officer. (Some spanish in text but only needs to know how to pernounce it properly.)

At exactly six o'clock tonight I came home from work. My wife, Myra, was in her room getting dressed for the party. I got a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator and headed upstairs. Rosetta, the cook, was in the kitchen with Romero, her son. I tapped on her door. She opens it. I hand her a glass of champagne. We drink, we kiss, and we toast. We drink, we kiss, we toast again...By seven o'clock the bottle is finished, my wife is sloshed, and I'm completely toasted.

Suddenly, a gentle knock on the door. The door opens and a strange young man looks down on us with a knife in his hands. Myra screams. I jump up and run for the gun in my drawer. I run back in with the pistol, ready to save my wife's life. The strange young man says, "Yo quito se dablo enchilada por quesa en quinto minuto." But I don't speak Spanish, and I never saw Rosetta's son, Romero, before, So I aimed my gun at him, Myra screams and pulls my arm. The gun goes off and shoots me in the ear lobe. Rosetta's son, Romero, runs downstairs to tell Rosetta , El hombre que loco, que bang-bang So, Rosetta, and Romero leave in a huff.

My earlobe is bleeding all over Myra's new dress. Suddenly we hear a car pull up. Myra grabs a bathrobe, and runs downstairs to the basement where we keep the dresses she wore last year. She can't find the light, trips down the stairs, and passes out in the dark. I run downstairs looking for Myra, notice the basement door is open and afraid the strange-looking man will come back, so I lock the door, not knowing Myra is still down there. Then I run upstairs to take some aspirin . But the blood on my fingertips gets in my eyes and by mistake I take four Valium instead. I hear the guests downstairs and I want to tell them to look for Myra. But suddenly, I can't talk from the Valium. So I start to write a note explaining what happened, but the note looks like gibberish. And I'm afraid they'll think it was a suicide note and they'll call the police, so I tore up the note, and flushed it down the toilet. And just as they walked into the room, I passed out on the bed.

What's It Worth by Bobby

Character:

Ralph

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

50-60

Style:

Drama

Length:

2 minutes

Background Info: Father trying to describe life to his son.

Monologue: Lemme tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and it don't care how tough you are it will keep you to your knees permanently if you let it.

Now me, you can't hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you can hit, but it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Now if you know what you're worth so get what you're worth but you got to be willing to take the hits and not be point fingers cause you ain't where you're at cause of him or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you you're better than that!

I'm gonna love you no matter what. You're my flesh you're my blood. You're the best thing to happen to me in my life. But until you start believing yourself, you ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother.

 Deposit With Style by Dave Nichols

Character:

Tony

Gender:

Male

Age (range):

22

Style:

Drama

Length:

1 minute

Background Info: A taxi driver named Tony goes to his bank to deposit his check and interrupts a robbery. There is one robber in a mask waving a .357 Magnum at two clerks and the bank manager as the clerks stuff bags with money. Tony immediately goes into crisis intervention mode, and almost gets killed in the process. Tony is talking to the robber. May be played in any dialect, but I was thinking New York, New York. Allow time for emotional shifts.

Monologue: Calm down, calm down now -- blast it, just calm down, now, will you? Killing people is not the answer, pal. Just put the gun down, okay?

No, no, no! Up is good! Up is great! Okay, up is fine. See, my arms are up, I'm doing what you . . . please mister, go easy on that trigger . . .

No! No, don't be stupid, man, get your finger off --

No, no of course not, I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do, but . . . tell you what -- you need a hostage to get out of here alive. I volunteer.

What do you mean, why? Because I want to get out of here alive too, that's why!

I don't care. Do what you want. Pull the blasted trigger. Go ahead, pull it! Come on, shoot me, what are you waiting for?

Look, pal, I don't have all day, either shoot me or leave, but make up your mind.

That certainly is a big gun.